Monday, June 05, 2006

What if my kids turn out normal???

No, seriously. What if they do? I've come to the realization that I actually want my boys to be a little different. Maybe it's the artist or the musician in me. Maybe it's something altogether separate. But I don't want my boys to end up being the totally clean cut, short haired, preppy, khaki-wearing kids. Now I have my limits, such as Goth or effeminate looks, but want a mohawk? Go for it. Blue hair? Can I help yo do it? Aside from the ones that indicate or are used for things that we don't believe in as a family, piercings are fine. Not for my four year old, but my teenager someday would be fine.

I suppose I'd prefer that it be a somewhat temporary thing, that they not have gaping holes in their earlobes after having those plugs in them for a while. And a 30 year old with the skater look is different than a highschooler. But even then, if they're in professions that allow for those differences, (not the holes. Please, boys, no apparent body altering things like that) such as music, art, or anything else that's accepting of that style by that point in the future, then it's okay.

Life's too short to worry about things that just don't matter, like my preteen wanting to dye his hair green for school spirit day. Or just because.
I began to think about this when we considered cutting the boys' hair for the summer so that they'd be cooler. Their hair's on the longer side, no longer than most of the kids in the ads these days, and we finally decided we just couldn't part with the look. That's when it hit me that someday we might have to give them buzz cuts or something else short if they don't follow in our artsy music-world mindsets. Military looking buzz cuts, okay. But typical kid-gets-his-ears-lowered cuts? Yikes. What if that's what they want someday??

I am evidently a pretty laid back wife, too. Brad told me the other day, "Thanks for letting me be myself and not telling me that I can't do certain things." I try to remind Brad of that fact as often as I can. Brownie points. Among all of our friends, only one other friend would allow her husband to get an earring, and he's not really in a position to do it right now with his job. Most of Brad's friends can't get motorcycles or get tatoos (He hasn't done either but wants to do both. At least the motorcycle.) We watched the season finale of Scrubs last night and Carla wouldn't let Turk do certain things because she was pregnant and couldn't do them, so he couldn't either. Okay, while I certainly have influence on what Brad does most of the time, I don't allow and disallow things, either. He's not my child; he's my husband, my equal, my partner. What business of mine is it if he wants an earring? Do I consult him on a new haircut? Well, yes, bad example. But you get my point. How is it that husbands are not "allowed" to do certain things when they really want to do them? Would an earring really hurt anyone? It would most likely fizzle within a matter of weeks or months, anyway. I could understand "Honey, I really just don't like them. But you're a grownup and can do what you want. Just know what my preference is." But "Hey, honey, can I get a tatoo?" "No way! Out of the question!" What's that about??

So I hope I get to stand out with our boys. Personally, I dress to blend in; maybe there's an issue there to be resolved. Maybe I'm living through them and the ability to help them be different! Hmm. A thought to ponder.

While I'm dyeing their hair blue.